What Makes a Good Life ?


source image : http://www.care2.com

If you were going to invest now in your future best self, where would you put your time and your energy ? There was a recent survey of millennials asking them what their most important life goals were, and over 80 percent said that a major life goal for them was to get rich. And another 50 percent of those same young adults said that another major life goal was to become famous. And were constantly told to lean in to work, to push harder and achieve more. We are given the impression that these are the things that we need to go after in order to have a good life. Pictures of entire lives, of the choices that people make and how those choices work out for them, those pictures are almost impossible to get.
Most of what we know about human life , we know from asking people to remember the past, and as we know, hindsight is anything but 20/20. We forget vast amounts of what happens to us in life, and somethings memory is downright creative. But what if we could watch entire lives as they unfold through time ? What if we could study people from the time that they were teenagers all the way into old age to see what really keeps people happy and healthy ? we did that. Almost all project of this kind fall apart within a decade because too many people drop out of the study, or funding for the research dries up, or the researchers get distracted, or they die and nobody moves the ball further down the field. But through a combination of luck and persistence of several generations of researchers, this study has survived. About 60 of our original 724 men are still alive, still participating in the study, most of them in their 90 s and we are now beginning to study the more than 2,000 children of these man. And I’m the fourth director of the study. Since 1938, we have tracked the lives of two groups of men. The first group started in the study when they were sophomores at Harvard College.They all finished college during world war II and then most went off to serve in the war. And the second group that we have followed was a group of boys from bostons poorest neighborhoods. Boys who were chosen for the study.
Well the lessons aren’t about wealth or fame or working harder and harder. The clearest message that we get from this 75 year study is this : Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period . We’ve learned three big lessons about relationships. The first is that social connections are really good for us, and that loneliness kilss. It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community are happier, they’re physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well connected. And the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic. The second big lessons that we learned is that it’s not just the number of friends you have, and it’s not whether or not you’re in a commited relationship. But is’s the quality of your close relationship that matters. It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health. And the third big lesson that we learned about relationship and our health is that good relationships don’t just protect our bodies.
So this massage, that good, close relationships are good for our health and well being. This is wisdom that’s as old as the hills. Why is this so hard to get and so easy to ignore ? well, we’re human. What we’d really like is a quick fix, something we can get that’ll make our lives good and keep them that way. Relationships are messy and they’re complicated and the hard work of tending to family and friends, it’s not sexy or glamorous. It’s also lifelong. It never ends. The people in our 75 year study who were the happiest in retirement were the people who had actively worked to replace workmates with new playmates. It might be something as simple as replacing screen time with people time or livening up a stale relationship by doing something new together, long walks or date nights, or reaching out to that family member who you haven’t spoken to in years, because those all too common family feuds take a terrible toll on the people who hold the grudges. The good life is built with good relationship

This is article quoted from Aulia Septinani, she is sweet human who  watching TEDX videos, link : Robert Waldinger – What makes a Good Life . The speaker who delivered about this is Robert Waldinger. Happy reading guys !


Say no to ‘Ngeluh’, Cause Every Day You Can Up


Berhentilah mengeluh agar kamu bisa terus naik kepuncak tertinggi kedewasaan hidup

Banyak dari kita sering mengeluh atas masalah yang terjadi, baik itu masalah kecil maupun besar. Hal itu terkadang membuat kita lupa, bahwa diluar sana banyak orang yang punya masalah yang lebih besar dan rumit daripada kita.

        Mengeluh sering menjadi bagian dari sifat dasar manusia. Kitapun ga akan pernah sadar dan prediksi kapan itu akan terjadi. Hal kayak gitu bisa aja terjadi disaat diri kita lagi banyak kerjaan, nugas, skripsi-an, dll. Mengeluh sering kita alamin ketika kita menghadapi segala hal yang sulit aja dalam hidup kita bukan ?.  Mungkin ga semua orang bisa pantang terhadap sifat ‘ngeluh’, namun ini bisa dilatih. Coba deh, saat kita mengeluh, kenapa kita ga berfikir setiap masalah itu justru menjadi modal kita untuk terus belajar. Disetiap permasalahan yang akan dhadapi kita percaya bahwa kita bisa dan ga cengeng buat hadapin itu. Justru, dengan datengnya sifat mengeluh dalam diri bisa membuat kita sadar, ga semua orang bisa mendapatkan apa yang kita sedang kita keluhkan sekarang, ga semua orang bisa melakukan yang saat ini kita lakukan, dan hal tersebut ternyata bisa menghasilkan sesuatu yang baik buat diri kita. Naluri manusia memperbolehkan untuk merasakan ‘keluhan’, hal itu sah-sah aja selama diri kita bisa menyikapi sifat mengeluh itu secara positif. Diantaranya, kalo lagi ngeluh karena banyak tugas, ya kita harus mikir ‘tugas itu penting, kalo ga ngerjain gue ga dapet nilai, dan ga bisa dapet ilmu nantinya’.

        Untuk mereduksi sifat mengeluh juga dibutuhkan rasa bersyukur setiap saat. Sedikit demi sedikit, dan seiring berjalannya waktu bersyukur terhadap sesuatu yang kita hadapi dan dapatkan itu memang penting. Dengan bersyukur pula kita akan sadar bahwa sesuatu pekerjaan atau tugas yang sulit atau saking numpuknya sedikitnya past memberikan kita manfaat atau pelajaran untuk diri kita. Gausah terlalu banyak mikir yang susahnya aja, sampe-sampe kita putus asa dan ga ngelanjutin ngerjain sesuatu yang belum tentu buruk buat kita.  Sifat mengeluh itu lama- kelamaan akan melatih diri kita menjadi pribadi yang kuat, sabar, dan tabah. Tapi, bukan berarti berharap untuk mengeluh terus juga. Hadapi aja dulu masalahnya, sikapi dengan bijak,  dan berfikir secara jangka panjang terhadap sesuatu yang sedang kita hadapi.

        Jadi, tetap semangat dan jalanin secara enjoy dan tuntas pekerjaan kalian. Gue tau, setiap aktivitas itu ada level-levelnya mulai dari yang mudah dikerjain sampe yang sulit. Dalam setiap aktivitas itu menuntut kita untuk bertanggung jawab, bekerja secara ikhlas, sabar, dan pastinya positive thingking about that. Mulailah, mem-filter kemudian buang jauh-jauh segala sifat mengeluh dalam pekerjaan yang kita jalani. Harus bersyukur, dan kalo merasa susah minta sama Allah lewat Do’a, Ok ? 🙂


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