If you were going to invest now in your future best self, where would you put your time and your energy ? There was a recent survey of millennials asking them what their most important life goals were, and over 80 percent said that a major life goal for them was to get rich. And another 50 percent of those same young adults said that another major life goal was to become famous. And were constantly told to lean in to work, to push harder and achieve more. We are given the impression that these are the things that we need to go after in order to have a good life. Pictures of entire lives, of the choices that people make and how those choices work out for them, those pictures are almost impossible to get.
Most of what we know about human life , we know from asking people to remember the past, and as we know, hindsight is anything but 20/20. We forget vast amounts of what happens to us in life, and somethings memory is downright creative. But what if we could watch entire lives as they unfold through time ? What if we could study people from the time that they were teenagers all the way into old age to see what really keeps people happy and healthy ? we did that. Almost all project of this kind fall apart within a decade because too many people drop out of the study, or funding for the research dries up, or the researchers get distracted, or they die and nobody moves the ball further down the field. But through a combination of luck and persistence of several generations of researchers, this study has survived. About 60 of our original 724 men are still alive, still participating in the study, most of them in their 90 s and we are now beginning to study the more than 2,000 children of these man. And I’m the fourth director of the study. Since 1938, we have tracked the lives of two groups of men. The first group started in the study when they were sophomores at Harvard College.They all finished college during world war II and then most went off to serve in the war. And the second group that we have followed was a group of boys from bostons poorest neighborhoods. Boys who were chosen for the study.
Well the lessons aren’t about wealth or fame or working harder and harder. The clearest message that we get from this 75 year study is this : Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period . We’ve learned three big lessons about relationships. The first is that social connections are really good for us, and that loneliness kilss. It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community are happier, they’re physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well connected. And the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic. The second big lessons that we learned is that it’s not just the number of friends you have, and it’s not whether or not you’re in a commited relationship. But is’s the quality of your close relationship that matters. It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health. And the third big lesson that we learned about relationship and our health is that good relationships don’t just protect our bodies.
So this massage, that good, close relationships are good for our health and well being. This is wisdom that’s as old as the hills. Why is this so hard to get and so easy to ignore ? well, we’re human. What we’d really like is a quick fix, something we can get that’ll make our lives good and keep them that way. Relationships are messy and they’re complicated and the hard work of tending to family and friends, it’s not sexy or glamorous. It’s also lifelong. It never ends. The people in our 75 year study who were the happiest in retirement were the people who had actively worked to replace workmates with new playmates. It might be something as simple as replacing screen time with people time or livening up a stale relationship by doing something new together, long walks or date nights, or reaching out to that family member who you haven’t spoken to in years, because those all too common family feuds take a terrible toll on the people who hold the grudges. The good life is built with good relationship
This is article quoted from Aulia Septinani, she is sweet human who watching TEDX videos, link : Robert Waldinger – What makes a Good Life . The speaker who delivered about this is Robert Waldinger. Happy reading guys !